


uncharted

by emedealer



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Child Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Criminal Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Friends to Lovers, Innocent Eren Yeager, M/M, Slow Burn, Soul Bond, Time Travel, to a certain point
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2018-11-09 22:57:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11114652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emedealer/pseuds/emedealer
Summary: He wondered if what happened to him had the power to transcend lifetimes. He wondered if it meant that he and Levi were soulmates.OR:The one where Eren has his captain’s entire life laid out for him to see, and it confuses the hell out of him because he's being forced to travel through time against his will. He never expected how much it would change him - or Levi, for that matter.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey friends, I've posted this story before and I realized later that there was a lot I wanted to change about it, so I'm posting it again. In other words, this story is already written. I'm just editing now, so chapter updates should be quick. If you've already read this story, my apologies. It should be an easier read, now though. :D 
> 
> Enjoy!

It was a brief glimmer of light that caught Eren's attention. 

The glimpse had flickered through window glass before disappearing again. He might have moved on without thinking about it at all if it wasn't for the familiar pair of wings he saw stitched on an old man's military uniform.   
  
Eren was baffled. Barely anyone who entered lived to reach their thirties as it was. Veterans from the Garrison and the Military Police were normal, and they were usually treated like nobles for all their years spent on duty. He would see them every now and then with a small crowd of admirers, eager for stories, which were grossly embellished more often than not.    
  
This man sat alone, concentrating on the firm grip he held on the steaming tea cup in his hands. He looked very worn and thin.    
  
Watching him was somewhat painful, and Eren didn’t know why that was. He stood in the middle of the cobblestone road, drawing stares from people.   
  
He could guess that the man fought for years without any real success - probably retired without knowing that there was hope ahead of him. Born a few decades too early to fight when it actually meant something.    
  
The thought sparked a feeling that cut into his chest like a knife, and he was overwhelmed with empathy this person that he’d never even spoken a word to. Still, he thought, it wasn't unusual for him to feel so much all at once.   
  
The feeling came to him in drops, and then in streams, like the day he’d watched a small child staring over his mother's shoulder at the horizon of the wall. Nothing earth shattering ever came from it, but Eren would go days with it stuck in the back of his mind. Those thoughts would stay with him for so long, and it hurt because his head began to fill with them.    
  
He would wake some mornings with moisture in his eyes in a dull ache in his chest, and sometimes he forgot the reason for their any of their efforts, which seemed aimless for long stretches of time.   
  
Those feelings were usually drilled away by his tasks and duties, which was a nice relief. As of late though, it had been more difficult to ignore his feelings. He didn't understand why.    
  
His feet had carried him forward without much thought, like his conscience urged him to drift towards something.    
  
The sun was setting over the wall as it was, and it was unlike Eren to ignore orders. He had been told to return to base after his temporary absence, but he figured a few minutes wouldn't kill him. Not that captain Levi would hesitate to drag him back by his ears if he caught word of it.   
  
Eren had never been inside a tavern before, but he had certainly smelled it off people - seen the blubbering drunk mess that it had a tendency to reduce a person to. He spotted a few specimens in that state already when he entered, scrunching his nose at the odor.   
  
Heads turned and eyes widened at his arrival. A hush fell over room for a few moments before people tentatively turned their backs and continued their conversations or silent brooding.    
  
Eren released the breath he'd been holding, eyes automatically seeking out the old man he'd seen in the window.   
  
It didn't take long, as his gaze was caught with a pair of grey eyes.   
  
The man sat at a table in a small solitary corner, observing him with an unreadable expression. Bored, was the best was to describe his face, and yet his posture grew tense when they met each other's gaze.    
  
Eren lingered a moment, reminded of something he could quite place in his mind. He made his way to the dim corner, lit by a small candle and the waning light from outside.    
  
"Excuse me," He managed to say, hands clenched at his sides with the nerves it took to approach the man. He didn't look like someone who wanted company. "I’m sorry, I just noticed your uniform from outside, and I wanted to... express my thanks."   
  
The old man stared at him blankly, like something was occurring to him that he was trying to process.   
  
"What for?" He asked, suddenly dismissive, and brought the cup to his lips.   
  
Eren blinked, not expecting the blunt response. He absently figured that someone like him had never really been thanked. Or maybe gratitude meant less because he himself was a soldier.   
  
"Your service, I guess."   
  
He stared at the window to his side, refusing to meet Eren’s eyes. He wanted detachment. "I've done nothing worth any thanks, kid."   
  
The finality in his tone surprised him, and the unwelcome atmosphere had him struggling for expression. He pushed forward.

"I know I don't know you, sir, but-"   
  
"But you figure I'm just like you." The man stated with bitter amusement.

The boy didn't respond for a moment, at a loss. The man in front of him was so painstakingly familiar, and yet they had never met before, at least as far as he was aware. But he felt like he knew this man, and he didn't know what to make of it. 

"No.” Eren answered, and the man’s expression seemed to soften a fraction, the tension in his shoulders lessening. “No one is like me. I wouldn't wish that on anyone."   
  
"There are more than you think." He replied noncommittally

Eren's eyebrows furrowed in equal parts confusion and irritation. He had never been much good at hiding his emotions, what with the fact that he had been labeled as the one with the ‘tenacious spirit’ among the cadets.

"I don't know what you mean." 

"I wouldn't expect so."   
  


Frustration was stirring in him, and apparently it also showed on his face because the old man looked as smug as ever. 

The look dropped instantly when Eren sat himself across from him. Leaning forward with his elbows on the table as a sort of challenge. The look he got in return was murderous.

"How long have you been in the scouts, sir?" The formality was more of a mockery now, and of that, they were both fully aware. 

The man held eye contact for a few moments before clicking his tongue and letting go of what he would have responded with. Eren saw his mind change directions.

"A while.”

He didn’t feel like he was talking to an old man anymore, despite the many lines on his face and the frail, aged hands on the table. Talking to him was like talking to someone he had known for a very long time, and there was only one person he knew of with the same stoic expression and placid remarks. 

"I take it you don't like to give straight answers." Eren assumed.   
  
"No,” he agreed.   
  
"Why?"   
  
"The reaction is usually entertaining."   
  
Eren scoffed at that, muffling most of it with his hand.    
  
"What's funny?” He asked, narrowing his eyes, which didn’t help his case much, as it only reminded Eren more of him.   
  
"Nothing, I’m sorry."

The man only rolled his eyes, taking another sip from his teacup as his eyes drifted towards the window. 

It was when Eren noticed the manner in which the man held the teacup that he began to pay attention in earnest. His fingers held onto the cup by the rim, and he drank it that way. 

“It’s just…” Eren murmured quietly, almost to himself. “You remind me of someone.”

The man’s eyes flitted over to meet his, lingering there for a moment. He let out a soft exhale and brought the cup back down to the table with a quiet clink of porcelain. 

“What makes you say that?” 

The atmosphere had shifted. The man was trying to seem casual, mildly interested. And Eren, who could read people well, saw that he was straining to do so. It seemed like the man didn’t want to draw attention to something that sat right in between them, plain as day, but invisible to his eyes.

“You’re a lot like him.”

“Very descriptive.” He quipped, leaning back with his arms folded. He acted much younger than he was, Eren noticed. It was unusual to see some his age still teeming with vitality. 

“You both hold teacups weird.” Eren insisted, pointing a finger at the hand that still rested over the rim of the cup.

The man’s eyebrows slowly drew together. He looked at Eren like he’d grown a second head.

“With your fingers around the edges.” He elaborated, mimicking the gesture with his hand. “He’s the only one I’ve ever met who does that.”

“It’s less disgusting.” He said, shrugging.

“He said that too.”

“What’s your point?” The man sighed, brimming with irritation.

“I don’t know.” Eren confessed, unable to formulate a real response. He didn’t have one.

“I gathered.”

The conversation reached an impasse, as Eren had no clue what to respond with, other than a snide assertion. He swallowed it back with some restraint, remembering that he had been the one to interrupt this man’s privacy. He really had no place here. 

The old man’s eyes softened again, and he seemed to take pity on Eren’s discomfort.

“So is this a friend of yours, or what?”

“My captain,” Eren said, earnestly meeting his gaze.

Grey eyes widened a fraction, and his expression quickly became unreadable. There was almost a reverence about it. The man seemed astonished.

He was quiet for a long time, and Eren began to feel uncomfortable under his scrutiny. He noticed that the light was nearly gone outside, and knew that he would already be late getting back to base. Not wanting to push his luck, he went to stand from the table.

“I have to go back.” He started, getting to his feet. “I came to thank you for your service, so, um... thank you.” He turned to leave as more patrons entered. He hadn’t realized how crowded the place had become.

“Eren,”

Hearing his name sparked a memory in him. The trouble, and it came to him after a moment, was that he couldn’t picture it. He knew the memory, and had relived it dozens of times. He didn’t know what it was, and he stood in bewilderment. 

Eren turned to look at the man when he remembered that he had never told him his name. He was sitting halfway out of his seat now, with a wrinkled hand gripping the table. The facade of calm had dissolved, and his eyes were blown wide with desperation, as though a chance was slipping away from him.

Unable to utter a word, Eren waited for him to speak. It seemed to be a struggle for the man to find his voice.

“Listen, I don’t have much time here.” He finally bit out, talking quickly. “I have something that I need you to take.”

Eren was reminded of a darker memory. One that flitted through his mind every now and then, of a dark forest and the man who held the syringe. He almost took an instinctive step back at that.

He had no reason to trust this man, and yet he still did, undeniably. Everything about it seemed surreal. 

“I don’t understand.” Eren said.

“You don’t need to, just…” He stuffed a hand into his pocket, pulling out a shining silver object and displaying it out in his palm. “Just take this.”

It was a circular metal thing, with a thin silver chain that hung through the man’s thin fingers. 

“What is it?”

“What’s it look like?” The man prodded, shaking it a bit in his palm.

“A pocket watch.” Eren answered.

“Exactly.”

Eren hesitated a moment, eyes flicking briefly between the watch and the man’s gaze before slowly reaching out to take it from his hand. The metal was warm to his touch.

“Why are you giving me this?” He turned the watch around in his fingers, noticing tiny engravings on the seams. The thing was barely larger than a coin.

“Because.” Because.

Eren pushed down his frustration at the response. It offered him nothing, and there was a good chance that he would never see this man again, much less know the reason for any of it. He highly doubted it was out of kindness. There was always some ulterior motive. 

“What do you want me to do with it?”

“Open it.” He stated like it was obvious. Eren supposed it was.

He went to slide his fingernail under the seam so that the watch would flick open. He froze when he felt fingers wrap around his wrist. 

“Not here.” He hissed, tightening his grip.

Eren was too petrified to respond. The man saw this, and dropped his hand.

“Wait until you’re alone.” He pleaded.

“Alright,”

 

…

 

Eren left without another word. Fresh air had never felt so welcome to his lungs, even if it was marginally colder outside than it was inside the tavern. He shuddered at the memories he’d just made, silent promising that he would never make that mistake again. 

He still gripped the watch in his hand as he made his way out into the darkened streets. Stars glittered above the great black space that was the wall, which he walked away from. The more he thought on it, he was always walking towards a wall, in one way or another. 

He glanced towards the window of the tavern, and there the man sat alone. He stared his hands on the table. They were wrung together with a sort of anxiety that Eren hadn’t expected from him. 

The man turned and met his gaze once more, and it looked more sorrowful than anything. Eren couldn’t tear his eyes away. 

He blinked once, and the chair was empty.

A familiar grief dropped into his chest. 

 

…

 

“Eren,” 

Hearing that voice the moment he walked down the steps to his room was both an overwhelming relief and a promise that he was about to be given hell. Eren had never intentionally been late. This was the first time he’d been let out unsupervised since joining the scouting legion. He’d abused it already, and he would certainly pay for it. 

“Captain Levi,” He turned and raised a fist to his chest.

“You’re late,”

Levi stood at the top of the steps, still in full uniform. He leaned more on one hip with his arms crossed. The dark circles under his eyes were more prominent with the dim candlelight. Eren knew it wasn’t his own fault for keeping the man up. Most everyone knew that Levi hardly slept as it was. 

“I’m sorry sir,”

“Willing away your time in a shit tavern,” Levi finished, cutting him off.

Eren had no retort to that. He dropped his arms from the salute, letting his gaze drift to the floor in a sort of nod. He wouldn’t lie to him. 

“Three of my men saw you today. St. Mariner’s was it?”

“I don’t know, sir.” And he honestly didn’t. He had paid no attention to the name of the place. 

Levi’s eyes narrowed briefly at that. “You smell like you’ve been there all afternoon.”

“I did but, it was just to talk with someone.” Eren said. If there were such a thing as submissive defense, he had become an expert at it with Levi. “I didn’t do anything more.”

Levi held his gaze for a few moments. His eyes were cold and calculating, but became softer as time moved forward.

“Get back to the cellar.” He finally ordered.

“Yes, sir.” 

He still felt the sharp gaze on his back as he turned to continue down the steps. He only made it a few meters before he froze at the sound of his name again. 

“Eren,”

He slowly turned again. “Sir?”

“What do you have in your hand?” 

Eren hesitated, swallowing thickly before he slowly held out the silver pocket watch for Levi to see. He wouldn’t have done it for anyone else.

“They gave me this.”

Levi walked down the steps to meet him, stopping only a stair above him to get a closer look at the object. It seemed familiar to him.

Levi refrained from touching it, but his hands twitched. Although the rest of his body remained still, there were a number of emotions that crossed over his expression, and Eren was fascinated. 

They stood there a long while, and Eren felt the same reverence towards the situation as he had before. He didn’t understand.

“Take care of it.” Levi muttered. His eyes only glanced to meet Eren’s before he was retreating up the stairs again. 

Eren stood alone in the dark until he finally accepted that the entire day had made absolutely no sense.

 

…

 

He lay awake in his bed, turning the watch over in his fingers. He metal caught with the candlelight and shined. He didn’t know why it enticed him so much.

As he felt around the watch, he found a small bump on the side of it with his thumb. He squinted at it in the dark and inspected closer. It had some give if he pushed it a bit, and after prodding at carefully for some time he realized it was a button. The function of which, he assumed would open the watch.

His thumb rested on it for a long while.

He might have considered that the old man was insane, had Levi not regarded it with as much importance as he did when he saw it. He had never seen so much feeling in his expression, and wanted to understand why it had been there - what significance there was to the object. He knew it meant something. 

He held his breath as he pushed down on the button, expecting some massive explosion to come from it. He counted to three in his head, and was met with silence.

The watch clicked open. 

There were no sudden beams of light, no supernatural beings come to share their fortunes with him, no hands reaching out to pull him into a strange vortex. He hadn’t even realized he had been expecting those things. 

The room was still dark, the silence still surrounded him, and it was still only a watch. The only sound he heard was the soft ticking that came from the inside. He narrowed his eyes again to see, and saw twelve numbers on the face, and three hands. The time was just after midnight. It was just an ordinary watch. 

It disappointed him, honestly, and he laid awake for a while longer just to see if anything would happen. 

He was too exhausted to dwell on it. The watch rested on his chest with the chain strung between his fingers. It rose and fell as his breathing eventually became steady. He tuned out the ticking of the clock as sleep slowly took him. 

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

Someone was prodding at his face with a stick.

Eren pried open his eyes, ready to murder the first person he laid them on, but that was hindered by the sharp beam of sunlight that nearly burned out his corneas.

“Fucking hell…” He groaned, shutting them again and batting the stick away from his face.

He realized hazily that he was laying on a bed of dewy grass, which he quickly decided was one of the most unpleasant ways to wake up. Cold, wet, and covered in tiny grass parts. The blades tickled his neck, and he could still feel the sunbeam seeping through his eyelids. 

“Mom says ‘fuck’ is a bad word.” A small voice to his right declared.

A child’s voice.

What the hell was a child doing at Headquarters?

With an arm over his face ready to block out the sunlight, Eren slowly opened his eyes for the second time that morning. He was greeted with two more things that confused him.

The first was the fact that he was inside of a cave. The gaping opening in the ceiling allowed sunlight to seep in and the grass to grow, but the light didn’t reach anywhere else. He was… he was underground. He was not at Headquarters.

The second was the tiny child who sat next to him. Big, curious grey eyes leered at him beneath a mop of black hair that nearly reached the boy’s shoulders. He was clad in an oversized shirt that reached his knees, and he held a twig in his hand while his knobby legs curled against his chest.

Eren swallowed dryly, finding his voice cracked when he managed to speak.

“Who are you?” He asked.

The boy blinked at him, staring for a long moment before his eyes fell to the earth again. His voice was muffled and quiet, as though he was ashamed when he murmured a response.

But Eren heard it, and his entire world seemed to topple to the ground when he did.

“Levi,” the boy said.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. First Meetings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School takes up my entire life :) Love you guys.

The more he stared at the child’s curious face - how his wide eyes still held a piercing sharpness that only belonged to one person - the more he was convinced that this was... it had to be  _ him _ . Even if every other part of him absolutely denied it.

“Y-you're not…” He breathed, shifting back away from the boy. 

Levi simply stared at Eren for a moment longer before losing interest in him. He sat back, pulling his thin legs to his chest and absentmindedly began breaking apart the twig he'd been poking Eren’s face with.

Eren didn't know how long he gaped at the child in his bewildered state. It wouldn’t have mattered away, because Levi didn't seem to care.

“Are you from upstairs?” The boy asked after a long while. 

Eren, still trying to contemplate whether his own existence was legitimate, had no idea what that might have meant. He didn't see any stairs -  just the sizable cavern in the ceiling of the cave that allowed sunlight into small meadow where they sat.

“I don't…”

The boy sighed irritably and rolled his eyes, jabbing a finger towards the sky.

Eren blinked, amazed at how little of a difference there was between this child’s personality and the Levi he knew, and looked upwards. 

He saw a breeze shuffle through the tree branches that were visible around the edges of the cave’s opening, but he didn't feel it. The cave felt stuffy and humid, closed off from everything else.

Eren’s gaze dropped back to the boy, who was staring again with purpose. He wanted an answer.

The underground city had rarely been mentioned throughout Eren's childhood. He had heard whispers of it in passing, but questions had always been brushed off when he brought it up. He had nearly forgotten it existed at all. 

He remembered that Petra had mentioned something about the underground when he’d once asked about Levi. 

Something heavy dropped into his chest at that.

“Yes,” Eren answered, reasoning that he indeed was, even if he wasn't technically from there  _ yet. _

He swallowed down the wave of suppressed panic that was making it difficult to breathe, hoping not to scare Levi. Something told him that that he didn’t have much to worry about, considering who he was talking to. 

“Do you… live here?” Eren asked, finding his voice.

“No.” Levi murmured, concentrating on ripping small pieces of grass to bits. “Mom brings me here sometimes.”

His brows furrowed when Levi mentioned his mother again. He had never pictured Levi as anything but the man that he was. Eren realized all at once, that even if this was some dream or miraculous vision, maybe he was supposed to see it like this.

He looked down to his chest and saw that the silver chain now hung from his neck with the watch dangling at the end of it. It looked the same as it did before, no evidence that it was responsible for what happened. 

He was still in his night clothes. Barefoot with dark pants and an olive green shirt. He fiddled with the small tassels that hung from the collar before looking up to meet a thoughtful gaze. Levi simply observed him, careless as to what he made of him. 

“Are you alone?” Eren prompted. “Where’s your mom?”

“Home.”

There was a sort of hesitation in the way Levi answered that made Eren wonder if he wasn’t letting on about something. They had only just met, after all. Levi had no reason to trust him, he had to remind himself. 

“Does she know you're here by yourself?”

“She likes me to come here…” His voice fell into a small murmur, “when the monsters come.” 

He didn't meet Eren's eyes after that, still deeply engrossed in his task of pulling apart the grass. 

When Eren heard the word, gnashing teeth and crippled lifeless bodies dripping with blood darted through his mind. But as he quietly pondered on it, he knew that Levi, as young as he was, had never seen anything like that before. Eren didn’t want to push further, but he was slowly putting the pieces together. 

“Who are the monsters?” He asked.

“They... come into our room,” Levi’s voice barely carried over the wind, but Eren, who sat in a stunned silence, felt the weight of it all at once. “They hurt her sometimes.”

Another gust from above shook the trees outside the cave, and Levi looked up at the noise. He watched the sky for a long while, and Eren saw his mind quietly go elsewhere. 

“What’s up there?” He asked. 

The question left him at a loss for words. Even when he opened his mouth to respond, he realized that he could say nothing that wouldn't crush Levi’s vision of a good world. 

But then a flock of songbirds passed over them, and he looked up too.

For a brief moment, Eren could see what Levi saw. The mouth of the cave was just like the wall. Impossible to see beyond, and taunting him with dreams he couldn't reach. 

“It's nice,” he whispered, eyes lingering on the sky. “...There are forests with more trees than you can count and rivers that go further than you can see. The sun rises on one side of the sky and sets on the other side every day. Water falls from the clouds sometimes.”

Levi didn't respond, but his blank expression changed to wonderment as Eren painted the world for him, or at least what he knew of it. Levi didn't need to know the worst of it just yet.

“Why would you come down here?” The boy asked, brows furrowed beneath his long bangs. He looked genuinely confused, and a bit angry. Levi thought he'd given up his life above ground.

“I didn't mean to.” Eren said.

“I guess that makes sense,” Levi sighed out. He narrowed his eyes at Eren's feet. “Why aren't you wearing shoes?”

Eren looked at his bare feet, and then at Levi's.

“You're not wearing shoes either.”

“Grown-ups wear them.” Levi explained, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I guess I left them at home.”

“You’re stupid,” Levi decided, getting to his feet.

Eren finally noticed just how filthy Levi's clothes were. His hair was long and somewhat unkempt, but it looked clean like his face. His shirt was marked all over in grime and dirt. 

The boy went to walk past him without a word. Eren would have followed blindly, had it not been for the small hand that gripped his wrist and naturally pulled him along. 

 

…

 

The tunnel was nearly pitch black, save for the small torches that lined the walls every twenty meters or so. Eren almost tripped down the steps more than once, with Levi letting out a irritated grumble every time he did. 

He kept a firm grip on Eren’s hand, but knew his way. Eren guessed that he had already climbed up and down these steps hundreds of times.

Small pieces of gravel pinched the soles of Eren’s feet, making him walk slower than he would have with his shoes. He began to wish he’d worn them to bed. Levi had to go slowly as it was, carefully avoiding falling by taking each step one at a time.

Levi let out little grunts of pain when his feet stepped on a sharp rock, or his ankle grazed the edge of a step. He let out a painful whimper at that, and Eren could only bear it for so long. 

“Levi, I can carry you,” he offered, “If you want.”

He felt the tug on his hand when Levi stopped walking, and turned to find the child staring up at him. His face was barely illuminated in the dark, but he watched the cogs turn in Levi’s head. The large eyes, although innocent, were somewhat creepy when they watched him for too long, and especially under the circumstances. Eren shifted on his feet a bit. 

“Okay,” Levi’s voice came out of the dark, echoing off the walls despite how quietly it had been uttered. 

Eren nearly blanched at that. It occurred to him, as Levi lifted up his arms as an invitation, that this wasn’t even the strangest thing he’d ever done. 

He hoisted Levi up, and the child's arms wrapped around his neck. Eren was surprised at how light the boy was. He couldn’t have been younger than five, at least, and it had been like picking up a infant. Eren kept him steady with an arm under his legs, which wrapped around his waist, and a palm covering his back. He could feel every vertebra on Levi’s spine underneath the thin garment.

Levi rested his cheek on Eren’s shoulder, curling his hands into his shirt. Eren felt the strain that it took for his young malnourished body to relax - to breathe, even. 

Despite the nearly suffocating warmth in the tunnel, Eren felt a series of shivers run through Levi’s body. He always seemed to cling tighter to older boy when it happened. He rubbed small circles on Levi's back as he walked, and the boy let eventually himself rest against him.

The tunnel had been growing wider as he walked, and it didn’t take much longer to reach the opening. It led into a small courtyard surrounded by a few stone buildings. The ground was stone covered in a thick layer of dust, with dirt crowding up into every corner and crevice between the ground and walls. 

Eren looked upwards and was greeted with the heavy darkness of a stone and soil that made ceiling, and the enormous pillars that supported its weight. There was a claustrophobic, tight push at his chest that made it all but impossible to breathe.

_This can’t be fair_ , he thought. 

The boy wiggled his legs, and Eren, taking a hint, set him carefully on the ground again. Levi grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the door straight ahead of them. 

The large room they stepped into wasn't unlike the tavern where Eren had first met the old man. It was a dimly lit room, with a bar on the far side of it. There were tables and lounging areas. It only had a few patrons, seeing as it was mid-day. Eren absently wondered how the city’s inhabitants differentiated between day and night. He supposed it didn't matter, really. 

Without warning, he was yanked to his knees by Levi's surprisingly strong grip, cut off from the view of the place by the thick railing of a staircase. 

“Don't let him see,” Levi whispered, pointing a finger towards the back of the room. 

Eren hesitated before carefully lifting himself up to peek over the railing. Behind the bar there stood an enormous man with a bulbous head and a thick mustache. He sat reclined in front of a wooden bar, counting a large stack of bills. 

Eren looked to Levi for an explanation, but his heart nearly stopped when he found himself alone. His eyes darted everywhere in manic before finding the boy crouched at the top of the stairs. Levi was putting put a finger to his lips, beckoning Eren to come quietly. 

His heart to return to a relatively normal pace before he nodded slowly and began crawling up the steps. His stomach jumped into his throat every time the wood creaked beneath his weight. If Levi was afraid of the man, Eren figured he should be terrified. 

Finally he met Levi at the top of the steps. The boy patiently waited for him come down from his brief moment of panic, watching him with another lingering stare, which left Eren to wonder what fascinated him at all. 

“Come on,” Levi said, getting to his feet again.

A series of doors lined the hallway, and Eren heard movement behind a few of them as they walked. He heard soothing voice calming a crying baby, and knew exactly what the rooms were meant for. 

He felt an absence of warmth, like it was impossible to feel any kind of happiness in a place like this. He wondered if the workers felt that way all the time, or if they had simply grown used to it. Levi had been raised in all of this, Eren remembered

Eren looked at the small child who walked ahead of him. He walked with purpose, because he had found something to grapple to. He looked ahead, as he always did, and Eren saw the infinite potential for strength, knowing what the boy would grow to become. 

It was what the child would endure to become the man, that frightened him. 

But he knew that change did not happen without a certain amount of pain. And his own existence, however brief, doubtlessly confirmed that knowledge. 

“Wait.”

Eren blinked, realizing they had stopped in front of the last door at the end the hallway. He nodded to the Levi, who was waiting for a confirmation, and felt a small squeeze on his hand before the boy cracked open the door. 

From what Eren could see, the room consisted of a bed and a dresser and an oil lamp,  lit at it’s lowest flame despite the darkness in the room. His eyes were immediately drawn to the woman who rested on the bed. Her back was to them, but he saw that she shared Levi’s raven hair and pale complexion. She was a thin, and it was plain to him because the sleeves of her dress fell to expose the abnormally sharp curve of her shoulders. The dress was long, and she kept her knees tucked up to her chest as she slept, just as Levi had when they first met. The corset she wore tugged at her waist, and looked like an unpleasant thing to sleep in. He supposed it was a sort of uniform.

Eren stood just outside the doorway while Levi padded across the room. And being as small of a child as he was, Levi took a bit of time to carefully maneuver himself onto the thin mattress. He sat with his legs dangling off the bed and softly rubbed his mother’s arm, not entirely trying to wake her, but hoping she would. The boy was expressionless, but his quiet actions spoke more than anything. 

Eren stayed behind the door so that he wouldn’t be seen. The woman let out a sigh and lifted her head towards her son. Her lips turned up in a smile when she opened her eyes, and Levi rested his chin on her shoulder so that their faces were close. She pressed her lips to his cheek, carding her fingers through his dark hair. 

Eren felt like he was intruding on something sacred, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from them. The soft light on her face looked like a painting, and the tenderness in her expression did everything to combat the darkness that they lived in. Eren understood how it was possible to survive so long with a life like this.

She mumbled something to her son that Eren couldn’t hear. Levi briefly smiled at what she said before it dropped again. She grinned at that, and he supposed that Levi smiling was a rare thing even as a child. 

A sudden clicking noise from below broke Eren out of his thoughts. His eyes darted down to the watch on his chest, having nearly forgotten it existed. 

It had opened on its own. Eren watched in bewilderment as the hands twitched sporadically on the face of the clock. He could only gape at it as they began to spin, slowly at first, and then so fast that he couldn’t see them. 

It all happened so fast. His heart sped up, and he panicked when his body gradually began to fade, like he was some sort of ghost. He tried to call for Levi, but he couldn’t utter a sound. He couldn’t touch the door either when he went to push it open. 

There were no sudden beams of light, no massive explosion that caught anyone’s attention. It was a simple vanishing into nothingness that dominated him without any warning, explaining nothing until he was left in the dark. 

The room had almost faded from him completely, but then the door opened. Levi stood there, still a child, with a hopeful expression on his face. His brows furrowed, and he looked from left to right before a disheartened slowly look crossed his face. Eren stood there, unsure whether or not he was still alive, because Levi couldn’t see him.

Eren crouched to his knees, putting his hands on Levi’s shoulders, desperately seeking recognition. Levi’s eyes widened a bit at the touch, and they met Eren’s for a brief moment. He doubted that the boy could see him, but Eren knew -  _ knew _ he had felt something.

Eren let out a soundless laugh in relief as a tear slipped down his cheek. 

_ This can’t be the end _ , he thought.

 

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_ Why did you send me? _

 

_ Because it was necessary to make you possible. _

 

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He was laying on his side, with the weight of his body straining against hard wooden floorboards. To feel air on his skin again was an enormous relief, but he quickly noticed that there was a cold staleness about it. Something wasn’t right.

When he opened his eyes, he was greeted with a sight that froze his entire being.

The room was painted in black and blue because the oil lamp had run out, and the only noise he heard was the a soft creaking of footsteps that came from below. 

There was a corpse on the bed. 

Levi lay curled on his side at the foot of the bed, his small body was strained with shock. Eren felt his numbness - knew that he was likely already grasping the reality of it, because it had always been in his nature to accept things as they were -not to deny them for his own comfort. 

Eren quietly moved closer, weighed down by the crushing emptiness in his chest at the sight of how vulnerable and alone and  _ dead _ Levi looked, curled in on himself on the cold wooden floor.

Levi was completely still when Eren moved to sit down next to him. His eyes held a concerning calmness, staring blankly beneath the bed at the far wall. He looked a bit older, and thinner now than he was before. 

Eren could see that he was breathing, but for the moment at least, the life in him was gone.

“Levi?” Eren whispered.

His eyes began to sting when there was no visible reaction, as though Levi couldn’t hear him still. He carefully rested a hand on the boy’s shoulder, and he started at the touch with a small gasp, slowly turning his gaze towards Eren. 

His shoulders slowly lost the tension in them, and he raised himself to face Eren. He stared incredulously at the older boy for a long while until his eyes widened with recognition.

“You came back,” he said.

Eren could only nod to him, not trusting himself to speak.

He didn’t expect Levi to launch forward and wrap his arms around his neck, to bury his face in his shoulder. He struggled to hold his breath while Eren, after recovering from the sudden embrace, held the child firmly in his arms. His breathing shook uneasily until Eren began to comfort to him with quiet reassurances. 

Levi eventually released the heavy sobs that had pent up inside him. He had been carrying that weight since the moment he realized that his mother was sick. Eren assumed that he had figured it out at a younger age than most children would. The boy couldn’t afford to be ignorant of those things. 

“She’s dead,” Levi whimpered into his shoulder after a long while, riding out the worst of his sobs. 

Eren only held tighter to him, wanting the boy to feel safe and protected, regardless of anything else.

Eren sat back so Levi could look into his eyes. The child, with his shoulders slumped and his face streaked with tears, looked completely dejected with guilt. 

“This isn't your fault,” Eren said, wiping his thumbs under Levi's eyes. “Don't you believe this is your fault.”

Levi’s grey eyes welled up again, and he pressed his face into Eren's chest, sniffling miserably. 

It might have been hours that Levi stayed in his arms, listening to Eren’s quiet voice while he grappled for more stories to tell about the world, trying to convince him that it wasn’t as horrible as it always seemed.

 

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_ Click _

The pocket watch opened. Eren closed his eyes.

_ Not yet,  _ he pleaded to himself.

He looked down with dread to find the watch in Levi's small grasp. Large eyes watched the clock hands sputter into a steady spin, and Eren grabbed the watch out of his hands. 

“Damnit, Levi…” He muttered, feeling a familiar numbness spread over his skin.

When he looked up to the boy, he was met with an utterly terrified gaze. Levi hesitated before furiously backing away from him, pulling his legs to his chest as he watched Eren begin to fade into the air. 

Eren desperately tried to stop it, but the light and sound faded in what seemed like seconds, this time. 

Within the brief, consuming moment, the child was left alone in the room. 

It was only minutes before Levi heard heavy boot-clad footsteps, just outside the door. 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Traveling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi it's been 500 years i'm sorry ;-;

When Eren saw Levi again, he felt like he should have expected the sight he happened to walk up on.

He’d been drawn to a crowded street where men were shouting, egging on what sounded like a sort of fight. It took some effort to push his way through, but no one paid much attention to him. It was more of a maze of sweat and broad shoulders than real people.

He found Levi in the center of the crowd, hovering over a fully grown man who gasped beneath a steel blade that was pointed at his neck. The exhilaration in the boy’s expression was easily the most disturbing part of it.

“Well done, kid!”

Eren’s eyes darted from Levi to the voice.

The tall man with a stetson hat and a trench coat had spoken out proudly. He watched Levi with his arms crossed, appraising him. Levi looked up from his victim towards the man, and Eren watched the murderous expression on his face slip elsewhere.

“That’s my boy, right there!” He boasted, clapping the man beside him on the back, who noticeably flinched. “C’mon, let’s go.”

The crowd parted for him as he left with Levi close at his heels, leaving the man still sputtering for breath on the ground.

There was nothing significant that held Eren back from running and calling after them. It was a gut feeling that told him to stay quiet and inconspicuous, considering his disadvantage of being in a foreign world.

He followed through the dissipating crowd again, keeping his eyes on the man in the hat and his captain.

They disappeared inside of an ancient looking lounge. Tuneless music and loud voices escaped from it when the door opened and shut again.

No one cared to stop him when he wandered inside.

It was difficult to take in his surroundings when the air was so thick with smoke, but he managed to spot Levi near the back of the room, sitting at the bar so he could hang close to the man, who reached over to ruffle his hair.

Levi looked detached, staring at nothing while he idly swung his legs beneath the barstool.

He had cut his hair, Eren realized. And while he was still thin, he wasn’t skeletal in the same way he had looked some years ago.

The pocket watch opened again, and Levi met his eyes.

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Eren woke up with a blade pressed against his neck.

All he could see was the figure hovering over him, as the details were blotted out against the dim street lamps that cast an orange glow over the ground.

The deep alley he had appeared in provided a convenient cover for this sort of thing because the shadows and walls concealed them from the sight of any onlookers. The street was desolate as it was.

He strained against the pressure of the knife, and felt a warm drop of blood slide over his skin as the edge of the blade pierced just beneath his jaw. The man, with his free hand squeezing his neck, made it impossible for Eren to pull air into his lungs. Eren could guess that he had been trying to kill him before he gained his consciousness back, because he was already seeing black spots in his vision.

He struggled to pull at the man’s iron grip with his hands, letting out a noiseless cry as the knife sunk deeper into his skin.

The man wasn’t Levi. His frame was too large and his movements too sluggish. If Levi wanted him dead, he would have been clean with it, wasting no time at all.

His instincts finally kicked in, and he remembered that he was far from helpless. He didn’t need full comprehension to know that he should kick the man hard in the stomach.

The weapon clattered to the ground with the released grip on his neck as his predator buckled over with a painful grunt, having the air knocked out of him. Eren gulped in a mouthful of oxygen before he stumbled to his feet and sprinted out of the alley, nearly tripping over his own feet.

He ran down a narrow road, flying past a few languid citizens who turned their heads as he left them behind. Adrenaline and fear raced through him, and it was a long while before he slowed to a walk and finally sunk down against a building.

The shadows provided a cover for him as he sat, panting heavily from exertion. He leaned his head back against the side of the building, eyes roaming upwards to the great black ceiling above. He grimaced at it.

He’d accumulatively been below the surface for less than a day, and the feeling of being trapped was already a thousand times worse than the walls ever had been to him. At least there had been sunshine, air that moved, a difference between day and night, and people that only thought about killing him rather than acting upon it.

Life here was only made worse by the perspective of a broader world, because people spent year after year without experiencing any of it - knowing that they were wasting their time.

The thought of it unnerved him. He picked up a stone and threw it forcefully at the side of the building he sat across from. The sound echoed off the wall into the street, and Eren slumped down further, crossing his arms over his knees and burying his face in them.

The puncture on his neck stung painfully, and Eren lifted a hand to feel the wound. He quickly realized it was still slowly oozing blood, what with the warm stickiness he felt there. His fingers came away with the deep red fluid coating them, and he decided that he should probably seek help for it.

What had the man wanted with him anyway?

It wasn’t as though he had anything of value on him, he thought, letting out a sigh as he got back to his feet. Dizziness flooded his head, and he had to lean against the wall for support, taking time to gather his bearings.

He wandered slowly through the city, unable to shake the overwhelming gloom that seemed to be sewn into the atmosphere of the place.

Before he seemed to have been present for something important, or something that helped him understand, but this time he was alone. He hated doing pointless things. He felt pitiful, wandering aimlessly through the underground.

He was applying pressure to the wound with his hand when he was suddenly thrown out of his reverie by the sharp sound of twisting cables that came from above.

I know that sound, he thought as his eyes darted upwards.

Three figures soared overhead.

Eren nearly cried out with joy at the unmistakable flight pattern of Levi’s. He was ahead of the man and girl who were with him, and Eren marveled at how his movements burned with vitality and purpose, as opposed to everyone else who lived there.

His feet carried him into a run as they flew further from him, and his heart lifted with the knowledge that he was running towards something and not from it. Eren would do anything not to lose sight of him.

They stayed on a relatively steady course ahead of Eren, making it simple to keep track of them with his eyes. He watched when Levi finally led his two comrades to the ground near the end of the narrow road, and realized as he ran forward, that it had been less than an hour since he had last seen Levi. But for Levi... it had been some years.

Eren wondered if Levi would remember him.

He slowed to a walk as he thought more on it, watching the three of them from a few blocks ahead. The girl rattled on animatedly whilst the sandy haired man, who was the most at ease of them all, listened with half an ear as he sat at the foot of a stairway. Levi stood nearby, adjusting his gear with careful practice.

Eren suddenly felt sick, realizing he was something of a stalker now. He imagined what it would it would feel like to have someone continuously show up at random moments his life with a number of years in between, looking exactly the same each time while he always grew older.

His eagerness to see Levi diminished with every step, because he couldn’t think of a reason why anyone want to see someone who always left them.

Eren soon realized that he’d been too preoccupied with his thoughts to stop walking towards the man, because when he had halfway decided to flee, their eyes had already met.

He froze, just across the street from where Levi stood with a gaze fixed absolutely on him. He had looked astonished for a few seconds, staring in disbelief. But his expression quickly turned venomous, and Eren felt infinitely more vulnerable than when he had been held under a knife.

Levi knew him, and Eren didn’t doubt it for a moment.

He felt especially sure of this when Levi was suddenly inches away from him, grabbing the front of his shirt to slam him against a concrete wall. The back of Eren’s head banged loudly against the rock, and his vision was suddenly filled with dark spots again. It took some time for him to finally meet the cold glare that seemed to pierce through him as easily as the knife had. He felt completely exposed, and struggled to breath against the forearm that pressed against his chest after the wind had been knocked out of him.

More blood from the wound trickled down his neck, and Eren ached everywhere in his body. Levi, although some inches shorter, had pinned Eren so he stood on the tips of his toes.

“Who are you?” Levi seethed under his breath. Eren could feel the slight tremor in his hands.

It had all happened so fast that his two friends had just barely noticed their leader nearly suffocating a teenage boy. Neither of them went to stop him, but they both watched him diligently, the girl with a slightly sorrowful expression.

Levi sighed out with impatience when he realized that Eren couldn’t use oxygen to form words, and promptly let him drop to the ground, stepping back.

Eren fell to his knees, spitting out a curse from the abrupt impact on his legs.

He felt a very sickening sense of nostalgia when he looked up to see Levi standing above him with the deadliest glare he had ever seen on a man.

It quickly dawned on him that the moment he was remembering hadn’t happened yet. His head began to swim with those thoughts.

“Who the hell are you,” Levi demanded as his composure came back to him.

“Eren… Eren Jaeger...” the boy rasped out, struggling for expression.

Levi finally sighed out when he figured that Eren wouldn’t say anything else. He paced in frustration, glowering at Eren every time he turned.

Eren took a moment to look at what the Levi had grown into. He didn’t look all that different from the man he knew as his captain, but there were subtle differences in his face. The prominent bone structure in his arms - the way he held himself, which hinted that Levi was near to his own age. He looked like he was in his early twenties, or close to them at least.

His dark hair was very different than the long mess it had been as a child. It was the familiar undercut, parted just a bit off center, with a few strands falling over his brow. He looked so similar, and yet absolutely different.

The maroon vest and dress shirt he wore might have looked somewhat professional, had it not been for the flipped collar and the few buttons undone in the front. Eren looked at him in a completely different light than he had when he’d found him as a child.

Levi was a man, or close to it. Eren caught himself staring at the exposed collarbone that had always been hidden by the cravat that Levi never went without as his captain. He looked at the thin veins that lined the strong forearms under his rolled up sleeves. Levi had changed into someone utterly different from the boy he had met in the sunlit cave, so his own perception of him had also changed.

The image of Levi in his mind was of a man, one that had grown into a strong because of his stubborn will to survive. Eren hadn’t expected the feeling to burn so deeply, or the flame to drop as low in his belly as it did.

He forced those thoughts to go elsewhere, as he’d always had.

He watched the questions brew in Levi’s mind, but had nothing to offer. He couldn’t explain his situation in a way that would make any sense. He didn’t understand it himself.

“You’ve been following me.” Levi accused. His voice was a bit softer now, so the others couldn’t hear.

Eren supposed he was somewhat correct, but he wasn’t about to explain that he couldn't exactly help it. Levi would definitely have a reason to kill him then.

“I don’t know how.” Eren said, watching the older man’s brows furrow in confused frustration.

“...doesn’t make sense.”

It sounded like a half-finished thought from Levi’s lips, and it was something in the uncertainty of it that caused heaviness to settle in Eren’s chest. He felt a sort of helpless guilt, because Levi hadn’t asked to take part in this, and yet he was the one who was always left with the questions unanswered, and then he would have to suppress them in his mind for years until it happened again.

He shamefully dropped his gaze and brought his knees to his chest. He wanted Levi to walk away from him, because it was his own fault for listening to the old man. The entire situation had all but screamed untrustworthiness to him, and he had went with it blindly.

It was just like him, he realized, to do things in that way.

“What the hell did you get into?”

Levi’s voice sounded much clearer to him, and he looked up to see the man crouched down on one knee in front of him, his face was close with grey eyes fixed on a certain point below his face.

Eren remembered the wound on his neck, feeling the dried blood crack on his skin when he swallowed thickly. Levi’s eyes flicked upwards to meet his, and his expression was somehow both annoyed and concerned. He waited for Eren to respond.

“It's nothing, sir.”

Levi’s eyes widened briefly at the formality before they resolved into concentration again. He didn’t respond, and Eren’s entire body froze when he felt cool fingers touch his neck.

They barely prodded at the skin, and Eren failed to subdue a pained whimper that surfaced when the pressure was too much.

Levi sighed out, clearly expecting the reaction from him.

“Can you walk?” His voice cut through the silence.

Eren blinked at him.

“Kid, I need you to talk to me.” Levi prompted.

“Yeah,” Eren murmured, sounding less confident than he intended.

“Come on,” The man got to his feet as he extended a hand, which Eren stared at. Levi rolled his eyes. “Come inside. You look like shit.”

Eren was pulled to his feet when he accepted the hand, but nearly lost his footing with the lightheaded dizziness that came with standing. Levi wrapped an arm under his shoulders, letting Eren rest most of his weight on him while they walked.

“Farlan,” Levi called out gruffly. The Sandy haired man got to his feet, suddenly alert. “Let’s take him in.”

It was a moment before Eren felt another arm reach under his other shoulder so that he was walking a bit more upright than he had with just Levi. The height difference between the two men who all but carried him made walking a bit awkward, and Eren was more than ashamed that he couldn't manage it himself.

“Open the door, please, Isabel.” The man named Farlan said.

The redhead’s face broke into a grin at the prospect of a new visitor, and she jumped up the steps to let them inside, guiding them through a small living space towards a small sofa. Eren was brought to rest on it.

Despite the wear of it, the cushions were soft, and it was the most comfortable Eren had felt since he had gone to sleep in his own bed, in the cellar - in his own time.

Eren’s head spun with those thoughts, with the pain in his body. The lanterns that hung in the room burned brightly, and he closed his eyes to the harsh light to avoid the sting. It allowed him to feel more of the ache in his body, to focus on the hushed voices that surrounded him.

“Who is he?” Farlan whispered.

“I don't know,”

“I can’t believe that.”

“Yeah! You never let anyone weird come inside.” The girl’s voice was shrill, excited. Eren imagined Levi's expression at that.

“I brought you here, didn’t I?” Levi retorted.

“Tell us who he is!” She pleaded excitedly, ignoring him.

“You owe it to us, at least.” Farlan added.

“If I knew, you would know.” The other man hissed quietly, which shut the others up. “I don't know anything about him.”

Eren felt the stifling atmosphere, the tension in the room. When he opened his eyes, he saw the two men glaring at each other while the girl met looked over her shoulder to meet his eyes. Her lips quirked up into a friendly grin, which Eren could only stare at. He was too dazed to respond, but she seemed to understand.

“Then why is he even here?” Farlan finally asked, breaking the silence in a frustrated whisper.

“Because.”

The silence was heavy in the room. Eren’s eyes flitted towards the ceiling as it seemed to press in on him.

“Take Isabel somewhere.” Levi said. “We haven't hit the west market. You both can manage without me.”

This only seemed to anger the blond man further, but he resolved to swallow it down. With one last sigh, he dropped his crossed arms.

“Can you manage this alone?” He asked softly.

Levi rolled his eyes. “Look at him, he's practically delirious. I need to talk to him.”

Farlan, still far from convinced, nodded once and made for the door.

“C’mon Isabel.” He called over his shoulder.

The girl pouted a bit, but didn't complain otherwise as she followed him out, sending Eren a wave before the door was shut with a click.

Silence pressed in on the room again, and Eren couldn't tear his eyes away from Levi, who stared at the door for a long moment after they were gone.

He looked to be deep in thought, and Eren, who was still quite clueless as to the man's current situation, would give anything to know those thoughts. Their connection, he decided, only went so far as he would allow it to be.

Eren wanted to know everything about him.

“Levi?” He tried. It was uncomfortable to say the name without a ‘captain’ or ‘sir’ attached to it. He supposed it would only make sense to get used to that.

The man seemed hesitant to look at him, which sent a twinge of dull grief through Eren's chest. He had never seen someone want so badly to hide their confusion and fear.

It was terrible, not knowing how to ease someone's pain without making it worse than before.

Eren waited, unwilling to push further until Levi wanted him to. The clock still ticked in the back of his mind.

Grey eyes pierced him to the core when their eyes met, and Eren watched him open his mouth to speak, before closing it again. It took him a moment to find his voice, which wasn't nearly as authoritative when it came.

“I can't make any sense of this,” Levi said.

His eyes demanded an explanation, while Eren's were equally as expressive.

“Neither can I,” they answered sorrowfully.

Levi turned and walked into the other room.

...

Eren was at a loss. He brought up the watch from his chest, gripped with bitterness towards it. He wanted to break it against a wall until it was reduced to a few shards of metal and loose gears.

But he knew that, if anything, doing something so rash would only add to his problems and God, he didn't want to think about how they had all but doubled in such a short span of time.

Somehow though, it was the voice that echoed from the hallway that made him forget.

“This isn't going to be fun,”

Levi emerged with a wet cloth and a bottle with a clear solution in his hand. He took up a table chair with the other to set it in front of the sofa

Eren winced at the sound the chair made when its legs hit the floorboards, what with the ringing in his head. He felt like a child in front of the man, and realized that somehow their roles had reversed.

Eren quickly learned that Levi was not the nursing type, even if it didn’t come as any surprise.

...

“Hold still,” Levi sighed as he scraped the dried blood away from Eren’s neck. The cloth felt more like sandpaper against his skin, and Eren strained against the pain.

“Feels’ like you're trying to rip my skin off!” He groaned, wincing when the fabric touched him again.

“There's an idea.” Levi murmured irritably, brows furrowed in concentration as he washed the grime away to prevent infection. He wrinkled his nose. “Disgusting,”

Eren spent the next while bracing himself against the alcohol solution that levi administered to his neck. He wasn’t nearly as rough - barely touching the cut, and yet it was like he was being stabbed all over again.

“So you thought it was a good idea to take a walk around the city at this time of night.” Levi muttered as he finished, meeting Eren’s eyes with a look that told him how much of an idiot he was.

“No,” He argued weakly, struggling to find his voice. “It’s complicated.”

Levi’s expression dropped into sort of placid indifference. His eyes held a certain amount of depth, what with all the questions that had burdened his mind for years. Eren wanted so badly to give him relief, but had no words to describe what had happened to him.

“I guessed as much.” Levi said.

Levi was careful with bandaging him up. Eren watched the intense focus in his expression as he taped a small stretch of gauze to his skin, and absently noticed that his eyes had blue in them.

“How do you know what hour it is?” He wondered aloud.

Levi firmly met his eyes at the question.

“I figured you wouldn’t have a problem telling the time.” He said, gaze flitting to the silver watch on Eren’s chest. It looked out of place in the room.

His statement was an expectation for Eren to elaborate on something else entirely. The boy couldn’t plead with his eyes anymore.

“It’s confusing.” Eren sighed, covering the watch with his hand. He felt like he should protect it, even from Levi.

The man caught onto this quickly, but didn’t say anything of it. He simply searched Eren’s eyes for an explanation that wasn’t there.

“What’s confusing, a clock?” He prompted furiously.

“Everything else.” Eren said.

Levi stared at him in disbelief for a long moment. He sighed out in frustration and leaned back against the chair, crossing his arms.

“I’m guessing you can’t explain this any better than I can.”

“No.”

“Then why follow me?”

Eren’s gaze fell into his lap as he struggled with the decision to explain anything at all. He wondered if there was any rule against it, whether it would change the course of things. He didn’t know how to describe it, but if there was anyone who deserved to understand, it was Levi.

“Look at this.” He said, holding out the silver watch, with the chain still hanging from his neck.

The slightest twitch in Levi’s jaw when his eyes flitted down to it was enough. Eren knew that he remembered, regardless of how far it was buried in his memories.

Eren swallowed before continuing on that track. “When your mother died, I was there… with this.” Although Levi’s expression didn’t waver at the mention of his mother, his utter stillness gave something away.

“I disappeared from you,” Eren went on, cursing the tremor in his own voice, “and then I came back. This keeps happening. It’s always you, except you’re older every time.”

He finished in a whisper, as the atmosphere seemed to call for it. The only sound in the room came from the watch in his hand, with every tick becoming more pronounced.

“I can’t think of one reason why I should believe you,” Levi quietly admitted, seeming to realize his next words as they came. “but I do.”

A weight lifted away from Eren’s heart at that, but he knew that Levi had struggled to understand for a much longer time. It had been a burden to him for most of his life.

“Thank you, Levi,” he said.

Eren didn’t know how or exactly when he felt it, but the familiar numbness told him that his time was up.

It came slowly this time. He wondered why it came at a different pace than it had before. It wasn’t an abrupt thrust that took him out of the room, but a quiet warmth that gently pulled him away.

Levi didn’t back away this time. Instead he was moving forward, reaching for him. His lips moved, and he seemed to be shouting. Eren only heard it as though it was muffled by water, before losing the sound entirely.

Wait, he kept saying.

He watched two hands reach for him in the dark, trying to pull him back.

The clocks moved forward.

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	4. Wake Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit quicker this time :P

It was strange, not being able to remember what happened in between their meetings. Eren didn’t remember where he was, or what he was doing. It seemed like he was floating in an empty space for a long while, but in reality he barely blinked and years would pass like a flicker of light.

Time had always been a straight line to him. Always a constant roll forward, untouchable, without an end. It had changed now, and with that change came a revelation that progression was also possible if one looked backward.

But he wasn’t merely looking back at some vague memories. He had put himself in them, altered them from what they had been without him. He wondered if the memories had ever been without him.

The thought of these things repeating themselves over and over again was too much for him. His head swam, and he eventually resolved that trying to make sense of it in his mind was pointless.

As complicated, as unique as his situation was, it just was.

Regardless of whether he understood it, time would run its course as it always did, and not necessarily in the order at which it had originally come.

He was brought to Levi every time. And the more Eren thought on it... he felt honored. Even for how painful it was.

There was a thin line that separated him from consciousness. Light was seeping through his eyelids, but his body wouldn’t move yet. He knew the numbness would wear away like it always did. He wasn’t afraid.

He focused on the soft glow in his vision, and felt a cool breeze on his face. That was new.

Where there was a breeze, there was wind. And where there was wind, there was open air and space. The light was so natural and warm.

The first thing he could see when he opened his eyes was a blue sky through an open window, with thin clouds blotting out sunlight.

He closed his eyes at the swift rush of air on his face, his lips almost turning up into a grin at the sensation. It was like he hadn’t felt fresh air for a lifetime, when in reality it had merely been a day or two. It was difficult to keep track of time when he was tossed around in it so much.

His fingers felt around on the soft bed of fabric, pulling at a few loose fibers. The sheets were familiar to him, and so was the room. His eyes drifted from the ceiling to the floor, around the walls.

He was back at headquarters.

Eren might have thought that he had made it back to his own time, had it not been for the feeling that he had missed too much, or the crisp smell that lingered in the air, which he only associated with one person.

He wasn’t back, and the man who was sleeping over a desk at the bedside convinced him of that.

Levi was in full uniform, with his face buried in the crook of his elbow on the desk, and he slept noiselessly.

The room was empty other than the bed and the desk, which was clear of objects, save for two small patches that rested near the edge, each bearing a familiar pair of wings.

His heart dropped into his stomach at that.

Eren didn’t like to blindly assume things, but he raked his mind for an explanation that was different than what had immediately come to him. He tore his eyes away from the man, fixing his gaze outside the open window as he swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. He listened to the soft ticking of the clock, which was the only sound in the room.

He had never felt so much sympathy for one person.

It was several minutes that he lay there with watery eyes, his jaw tight. He was mournful and angry for someone else’s loss, and his body tensed with the feeling of it for a long while.

“Don’t work yourself up, kid.” A deep voice cautioned.

Eren started, whipping his head around to see Levi. For a moment he was taken by the redness that rimmed Levi’s eyes - the prominent darkness circles that hadn’t been there before and the dejected slump of his shoulders.

It frightened Eren more than anything else.

“Captain,” He breathed out. The word slipped easily out of his mouth, and it was the confused furrow in Levi’s brows that made him realize his mistake.

“So that’s who I am to you,” he quietly assumed, mostly to himself. “Where you come from, that’s what I am.”

Eren didn’t know what to say.

Levi was… many things to him. There were thoughts about the man that Eren would barely admit to himself of having, in fear of what would become of it - what it would grow into. He had never wanted to risk that.

But at the same time, they had always lingered in the back of his mind. He rarely let himself think on it. There were times, like just before he fell asleep, that he allowed those thoughts to seep in, even if it was only for his own sanity - to get it out of his system.

He wasn’t normally careful. If he wanted something, he was known for doing whatever it took to get it, whether not he had any skills to accomplish it.

But with Levi, he couldn’t do that. It was too large and dangerous a barrier to cross. And Eren, with his respect for the man, would never stoop so low as to do so without an invitation. It was a different case altogether with him, and there were a thousand reasons why he should never move towards him in that way, and he wouldn’t - so long as he could bear it.

“How did you get out of the underground?” Eren swallowed the roughness in his throat when he spoke.

Levi was staring at an empty space on the wall ahead of him, leant back in his chair with his arms folded limply. He looked far away, and with the emptiness in his expression, he seemed conscious but no longer alive.       

“Did you escape?” He prompted further, failing to hide the tremor in his voice.

Levi’s eyes flitted to him at that.

“I had some help,” he answered.

He didn’t elaborate further, but Eren remembered that someone had told him once about a theory that had been passed around that Commander Smith had all but forced him to join the survey corps.

“Erwin,” he said.

Levi’s eyes widened a bit. “Did you see?”

“No, I wasn’t there.” he murmured, “You’ve always seen me.”

Levi scoffed. “You aren’t very subtle.”

“Yeah… that’s never really been one of my strong suits.”

There was a beat.

“We were... paid to kill Erwin,” Levi said, “So when he offered a place for us here, I took it.”

Eren blinked.

It was odd, feeling his outlook on the man change so quickly. It wasn’t for the worse, but he hadn’t expected that. He had always seen the two men as permanent fixtures in the other’s life. The more he thought on it, the more sense it made that they had met that way.

Although, it still didn’t explain why Levi told him so easily. It was unlike him to be open about these things, or anything really. He doubted that anyone else knew.

“I thought I was smart,” Levi went on, “that I could slip past him, and we would be free, but nothing happened the way it should have.”

“What happened?” Eren asked, feeling his voice reduce to a whisper on it’s own.

“They’re dead, Farlan and Isabel,” Levi’s voice was also quiet, and the atmosphere felt thick. “And the whole thing was fucking pointless, because Erwin knew all along.”

He held Eren’s gaze for a moment longer before looking elsewhere.

“I can’t hold on to this,” he finally sighed out. _I’ll die if I do._

It was a soft declaration. The words seemed to come to Levi as he said them - like a promise that he was making to himself.

He had never seen Levi with such an earnest expression. His eyes had a sort of sadness in them, as they always did. Eren had never known him without it, but he knew the reason for it now. Still, he doubted that he would ever truly understand him, just as no one would ever fully understand another person. It was impossible.

One’s experiences were too unique, and so individual that to misunderstand one part of them would change everything about them. Eren had only witnessed glimpses of the man’s life, and looked on as a bystander would. What he could see hadn’t happened to him, but he had watched it happen to someone else.

It confused him because he felt it so deeply.

“How long have I been here?” He asked, pushing the thought away.

“A few hours, at least.” Levi answered after a moment, meeting his eyes again. “I found you on the edge of the forest this morning while I was on patrol.”

“Did anyone else see?”

“No,” he answered, and that was it.

Levi must have found him early in the morning, by sheer luck, or more likely fate, which always seemed to bring him to the right place, and at the right time for them to meet like they did. Levi had come to him this time, rather than the other way around.

Eren imagined what might have crossed Levi’s mind at the sight of him. He wondered if Levi had felt relief.

“When you come back from wherever... it is you go,” Levi asked, “are you always passed out like this?”

“Not always,” Eren said. “It’s better when I’m not.”

Levi nodded passively, like he was deep in his own thoughts.

Eren couldn’t look away from him, filled with some irrational fear that he would miss something if he did. He watched him, still in a sort of wonderment from coming back.

“You look lost.” Levi said.

Eren was surprised at the statement.

“I don’t feel lost.”

Levi raised an eyebrow at that. “Did you mean to come here?”

“I don’t ever know… where I’m meant to go,” Eren explained “I didn’t really mean to go anywhere in the first place.”

“You know,” Levi sighed, running a hand through his dark hair, “the more you talk, the less I understand.”

Eren opened his mouth to argue, only to stop when he saw to corner of Levi’s mouth turn up in amusement.

“What’s funny?” He prompted, probably sounding less aggravated than he intended.

Levi let out a small huff before meeting his eyes. “You must have done something very stupid to put yourself here.”

As Eren thought on it, he really had no argument.

So he ended up laughing quietly too.

They ended up in a comforting silence, both completely awestruck in thought. Their predicament was absolutely unique, and neither knew exactly how to move forward. It seemed to do that on its own.

“It seems like it takes me where it feels like I need to be, at the right time. I never know the reason,” Eren confessed, “but I trust it.”

“Why?”

Eren hesitated, taking in a breath. He figured that there would be no better moment for it.

“Because it’s you every time.”

When Eren had the courage to meet Levi’s eyes again, he was taken back. Levi’s expression, as stagnant and bored as it always was, looked astonished.

His eyes had widened just a fraction, and Eren could see the blue in them as clear as day. His lips parted slightly, as though he’d lost his words. His gaze was almost tender.

It felt like a tight fist had unclenched from inside his chest, and with that came an almost instant wave of exhaustion. Throughout the whole ordeal he had yet to rest at all.

When he eventually drifted off, feeling Levi’s gaze on him.

.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 


	5. Movement

A scribbling pen on paper woke him up again.

Levi was writing at his desk, swiping his signature over a stack of forms with an utterly bored look on his face.

Eren’s lips turned up a bit at that, and he watched him for a moment, wondering how old Levi was.

He didn’t even know what year it was.

“Have you been to Shiganshina?” Eren asked.

If Levi was surprised by the broken silence, he didn’t show it. His eyes briefly flitted to the boy and back to his work.

“Erwin’s expeditions are led out of the city.” He murmured noncommittally.

Eren remembered dragging Mikasa along to watch the scouts ride their horses and carts through the city when they left and returned. He had always stayed to watch, even if it was hard to call it a parade.

“I used to live there, before...” his voice drifted off as he realized what he was about to say.

He felt Levi’s eyes on him.

“Before I joined the corps.” Eren finished, meeting his gaze.

Levi looked like he knew that it had been something else entirely, but he didn’t push for anything from him.

“You have family there?” Levi asked, dipping his pen in the bottle of ink.

“Yeah,” He answered quietly. “My mom.”

It took more effort than was probably warranted for him to not imply that she was dead, or that she would be, in a matter of time.

It was a moment before he heard the scrape of the pen on paper again.

“I haven’t seen her in awhile.” He said, mostly to himself.

.

.

.

.

“It’s a day’s ride.” Levi said as he entered the room again.

Eren jumped in his seat on the windowsill.

Levi had been out for what felt like hours, leaving him with a plate of food and a promise that it wouldn’t end well for him if he tried to explore.

“Where?”

“Shiganshina.”

Eren stared.

“We can make it there by dawn if we leave now.” Levi went on, grabbing a small compass along with a few items from his desk drawer.

“You’ll take me?” Eren pressed, feeling a grin tease his lips.

“Don’t get emotional about it.” Levi sighed, rolling his eyes. “I haven’t been outside base perimeters in a week.”

Eren nodded, keeping his mouth shut. He knew he would say something stupid if he spoke right then.

“And stop with the formalities.” Levi added, seeming to read his mind. “I might be captain to you, but right now I’m just a soldier, same as you.”

“Yes, sir- Levi.” Eren stuttered, practically beaming.

The man sighed as he got to his feet.

“I doubt anyone would recognize you,” He said, tossing a uniform to Eren. “but put this on anyway.”

Eren felt a flush creep up on his face, and Levi didn't comment on it as he continued packing.

Levi’s clothes fit surprisingly well, save for sleeves on the military jacket, which didn’t even reach his wrists. He was just grateful to be wearing shoes again.

Eren’s feelings were stuck somewhere in between eager and terrified at the idea of seeing his home again. He had wanted it for so long, and yet he knew there would be no coming back to it.

He also knew that most of his love for his home had been carved from loss, because his eyes had always been on the horizon.

…

Eren saw a few familiar faces as Levi led him through the halls. They stayed mostly out of sight, and sun was low in the sky when they made it to the stables.

Most of the horses were still awake, and Levi went straight to his own, who became visibly alert as he approached. He murmured something that Eren couldn’t hear, reaching up to stroke her nose.

There was nothing unique about the horse Eren used on patrol and expeditions. He knew it had two distinct white spots on its shoulder. He hadn’t expected any emotion to surface when he found the horse beside its mother in one of the stables, much smaller and younger than he’d last seen it.

Eren wondered if he would ever get back.

He blinked, pushing the thought out of his mind. He couldn’t dwell on those things without panic rising up in him. He couldn’t let Levi see that part of him.

Once Levi had prepared his horse, he picked one for Eren and readied it too. The boy was quiet for most of it.

They rode side by side for a long time without speaking. They were both people who could retreat deeply into their own thoughts, which wasn’t good for any sort of conversation. But it was a companionable silence that stretched on until the sky was dark and stars glittered above them.

Eren looked upwards at the black silhouette of the tree branches against the sky. The view took his mind elsewhere, which lifted his heart a bit.

He felt Levi’s gaze on him.

It was a quietly muttered, “What’s wrong?” that brought him back to earth.

He could barely see Levi’s face when he looked to him. The dark seemed to press in on them as they moved through the forest at night. The sounds of life seemed so much louder when there wasn’t a group of people to drown them out.

It was a long time before he answered, but Levi was patient, or didn’t care enough to press further. Eren never really knew with him.

“I don’t know,” he said, looking ahead. “I should be happy.”

He inwardly cursed when the next breath he took had a slight tremor, but he pushed forward.

“But you know this is going to end.” Levi finished, before he could begin.

He was gazing upwards when Eren looked at him again, at a loss for words.

“Don’t waste your time, right now, being afraid of the future. You’ll regret it when it comes.”

Eren felt that somehow Levi knew that his life at home was gone forever, but his words were said with such experience behind them that he could only numbly accept them.

The rest of the night passed in relative silence.

It was hours before the first streaks of pink lined the horizon over the wall. They rode out into a clearing of trees, stopping at the peak of a hill.

Just below them, Eren could see the gate.

They stood there a moment, with Eren finding it almost impossible to stay still from the anticipation racing in his veins.

He looked to Levi for confirmation, who glanced to him out of the corner of his eye.

“C’mon,” he said, tugging lightly on the reins.

Eren followed closely behind, all semblance of hesitation forgotten.

He slid off his horse when they made it to the gate, which was always open for transport during the day. Guards from the garrison regiment nodded to them as they passed on foot after tying their horses to posts.

The city was just waking up.

A few people were out, some stared as they passed. Eren had one destination in mind, almost subconsciously moving towards it with Levi at his side.

Levi didn’t ask where they were going, and Eren supposed he didn’t need to. He only ever mentioned one person to begin with.

The stone road that led to his house looked like it always had, but in the morning light it felt like a sort of dream. The city was still so quiet.

The house at the top of the hill was his, and he stopped moving when it came into view. His heart skipped a beat when he saw his mother hanging clothes with pins outside the front porch. She always did that in the morning.

He felt panic rise up and looked at Levi with wide fearful eyes. He hadn’t thought this far.

Levi took one look at him, and seemed to understand.

“I have an idea,” he said after a moment of thought.  

…

It took a solid moment for Eren to will his legs to move, what with how utterly surreal everything was. Levi led him behind another house, out of the sight of his mother.

Levi climbed the side of the house with firewood stacked high against it, grunting irritably that they should have brought their gear. Eren followed behind him, settling down beside Levi when he sat down on the roof.

They stayed there, watching his mother continue her work on the front steps for a long while.

The moment seemed almost sacred, so early in the morning when there was hardly any noise other than the occasional wagon passing through.

Eren rested his chin on his arms, pulling his legs up to his chest. Seeing her so close without being able to run and embrace her, without being able to tell her how sorry he was for being so ungrateful and distant before… it was the most difficult he’d ever done.

Part of him wanted her to look upwards and see him - to recognize him.

“You look like her,” Levi quietly acknowledged.

Eren felt tears prick at his eyes. “People always said I did.”

“It’s your eyes.”

It might have been hours that they sat there, even when she retreated into the house.

Something filled him, moving like music. It was a slow waking, as though his body was reluctant to acknowledge that it was happening to him.

He eventually felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked to see Levi questioning him with his eyes.

Eren nodded.

Levi stood and offered his hand, which Eren accepted wordlessly.

They climbed down from the roof, keeping quiet and inconspicuous. Levi had to half-pull him away from his home again.

Eren caught another glimpse of his mom when she opened the shutters on one of their windows. He briefly met her eyes before Levi pulled him out of sight.

.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

.

“This is the longest you’ve ever gone without disappearing.”

.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

.

They didn’t return until late that night, and Levi told Eren to go to wash himself while he tended to the horses.

Eren left quickly, drawing himself a bath in the empty washroom, that was thankfully void of anyone else. The hot water eased the stiffness in his shoulders, letting his mind to go numb in the steam.

He didn’t want to think about anything.

Levi’s bedroom was still empty when he finally returned to it. Without a second thought he let himself fall into the bed, soaking up the warmth in the sheets, easily drifting off.

…

When Eren opened his eyes, all he could see was the orange light emitting from the diminishing torch on the wall, how it softly illuminated the dark room - how it touched the man laying in bed with him.

Levi lay on his back, staring at nothing really, with his hands rested on his stomach. He might have looked relaxed if his brows weren’t knitted so tightly.

He was deep in thought, which was likely the only reason he hadn’t noticed that Eren had woken.

The light put Levi’s profile into sharp relief, casting a soft glow over his face. Levi’s features were unique, in that parts of his face looked softer than others. His nose was small and rounded, while his jawline was angular. In the flickering light his skin looked bronzed and warm.

It seemed like the most natural thing in the world to reach over and touch him, but Eren had to remind himself over and over that it wasn’t. He was not supposed to feel like this. He wanted to be ashamed about what he wanted - but the more thought on it, the more he watched the man beside him… he knew that he was already too far gone.

As he lay there, knowing that somehow they were both caught up in this terrible miracle, he couldn’t bring himself to care anymore.

They were already so close, and there was a tremor in Eren’s hand as he slowly reached up to turn Levi’s face towards him.

Levi became alert the instant he saw Eren’s hand in his peripheral vision, turning his head to meet the boy’s eyes just as cool fingers touched his cheek.

Eren shut his eyes, bracing his body against pain, thinking Levi would kick him out of the bed, or something similar to that.

When nothing came, he hesitantly met the man’s gaze again. He thought he would be glared at, but what he got was something very different.

Levi’s face was shadowed over, but Eren could see his calm expression, the slight furrowing of his brow that only asked a question, rather than giving off a defensive air.

Eren was so shocked by Levi’s quiet reaction that he hadn’t noticed that the man had yet to move away from his touch. Granted, his body had stiffened a bit, but he wasn’t pulling out of Eren’s reach.

Eren felt a slight puff of air on his face, and his gaze dropped to Levi’s mouth.

Levi stayed completely still when Eren’s fingers moved to cup his jaw. He slowly moved forward to meet Levi’s lips in a kiss.  

It was chaste, but long-lived. He was nearly out of breath when he finally pulled back.

He felt his heart beating like a pair of hummingbird wings in his chest - could see the way Levi’s breath sped up too, the way his darkened eyes darted down to his own lips over and over again.

Eren pressed another kiss to Levi’s mouth, tasting the supple skin and feeling the sweet sensation of Levi’s lips sliding against his. It ignited something deep, a fire that spread through his limbs and had him panting for breath when he broke away.

Levi chased him this time, barely letting him catch his breath before he caught Eren’s bottom lip between his teeth, softly pulling at the flesh while his hand pushed against the back of Eren’s neck, bringing them flush against each other save for the barrier of clothes.

Eren sighed out blissfully against his mouth and it had Levi opening his eyes a fraction, pulling away so that they were just a breath apart.

Eren slowly adjusted himself so that he hovered above Levi’s body with his forearms resting on either side of his head. Levi watched him with a soft gaze, and his lips turned up in a quiet grin that held more affection than Eren ever thought he would see in the man’s expression. It felt like something sacred... something that Eren wanted to remember for as long as he could because this… this was why he had been brought here, and they were both alive.

Levi’s hands were on his clothed chest when Eren dipped down to meet his lips again and again, relishing in the way that he heaved for breath on the sheets. The man’s fingers traveled around him, nails skimming over his ribcage until they found his shoulder blades and gently pushed so Eren rested fully against him.

Eren took the opportunity to straddle him, kissing him deeply. Levi pushed upwards to the boy’s mouth, palms resting heavily on his hips. He broke away from Levi’s lips to kiss at his neck, mouthing at his skin and sighing out at the beautiful gasp that Levi made at the sensation.

They might have kissed like that that for hours, slow and languid, all lips and teeth.

But somewhere along the line there was a barely whispered “Stop,” and Eren hardly registered it when Levi suddenly went still beneath him.

Eren was sliding a palm towards Levi’s chest, uncovering more of his skin as he felt the firm muscles beneath his fingers.

His mouth was at Levi’s collarbone when he felt two strong hands push against his chest, forcing him to sit up instantly.

They both panted heavily from exertion, staring widely at each other for a long moment. Eren couldn’t hide his confusion at the abrupt change of atmosphere, feeling his heart barely begin to return to a normal pace.

“Stop,” Levi repeated, closing his eyes.

 

 

 

 


	6. Overture

Levi got up and left through the door without another word, leaving Eren alone on the bed.

Eren stared at the door. Shock paralyzed him to the core at how fast everything had changed in a matter of seconds. He couldn’t even begin to comprehend what had changed so quickly in Levi’s mind. For a while at least, Levi had wanted him - but then he didn’t.

Levi, he realized, barely knew him.

Eren at least had a sense of who the man was, even if the past few days had given him more knowledge than he’d ever hoped to have about him. But Levi had little to nothing, and there was so much that Eren couldn’t tell him.

He had no way of knowing when he would leave again, or how many years would pass before they would meet. As far as he knew, there was no way to control it, and no way to find out if there was.

They were trapped.

Eren held the silver watch in his palm, and decided that would be better if he left. He had triggered something deep, and he couldn’t imagine the things that plagued Levi’s mind after everything that had happened to him.

He needed to see Levi before he left. The man deserved it so much more than Eren deserved to leave without a goodbye. He didn’t know how many years it would be for Levi, and the thought made made a heavy weight settle in his chest.

…

Eren found him exactly where he thought he would.

The tower itself wasn’t an easy find. He always ran the risk of opening a door to someone else’s room. Luck was somehow on his side that night, because he never ran into another living soul.

A certain wooden door looked promising, considering it had stairs painted on it. All of the blood drained from Eren’s face at the high-pitched scrape and groan that the hinges made when he eased it open.

He stood frozen on the spot for what felt like a full minute before he let out the breath he was holding and decided that he was in the clear. There were worse things to be afraid of, he told himself.

The staircase spiraled all the way up to the ceiling, and the air was cold and damp on his skin when he took a deep breath and ran up the steps. It was difficult to see anything except for the few spots of moonlight coming in from the small windows.

He would have made it all the way to the top had his body not suddenly collided with someone else’s on the way there.

Eren lost his balance at the impact, nearly falling backwards when his foot slipped over the edge. A pair of hands gripped his arms firmly, yanking him upright and pushing him roughly against the far wall.

Green eyes met grey when Eren met the man’s concentrated gaze. He could barely see Levi’s face in the dark, but his eyes were bright with fear and frustration, and the trembling hands that held onto his arms like a lifeline were more telling than anything else.

The only sound was the shaking breath shared between them, and Eren felt it on his face. He wanted so badly to lean in again, to feel the man’s lips against his

But Levi was already pushing away from him, hands dropped away from his arms. Eren got one last glance before Levi started down the steps, widening the space between them again.

“Levi,” Eren pleaded, feeling like his own voice had gone through the shredder. “Please.”

He didn’t know what he was asking for.

Levi stopped, his back was ramrod straight as he stared ahead. Eren saw the cogs turning in his mind, deciding something The man’s hands were fisted at his sides in tense defeat.

“I… I shouldn’t have done that to you.” Eren said shortly, hating his words. “It was a mistake. It won’t happen again.”

Levi turned on him in an instant, his expression anything but satisfied. His eyes burned with indignation, and Eren only gaped back, completely lost as to what he’d said wrong.

“You always just assume everything.” Levi seethed, taking a step towards him.

Eren took a step back at that, dumbfounded at the sudden accusation.

“It isn’t fair.” Levi’s shoulders seemed to slump with the statement, his voice softer. The anger deflated into a sort of dejected submission as his eyes looked elsewhere.

A familiar guilt crept back into Eren’s chest, weighing him down again. It was a long time before he found his voice.

“I wish I could stay with you,” he murmured quietly.

“You’re going to disappear again,” Levi whispered.

Eren felt his heart clench painfully at the words, because he had no argument against them. They both knew how inevitable it was, and the uncertainty the came after. But Levi was the only one who had years to dwell on it, while for Eren it was only a matter of minutes.

“If I didn’t know better I’d think you were dead in a field somewhere,” Levi went on.

Anger rebelled up inside of him at that. “I’m not helpless.”

Eren was finished avoiding the reason he’d come to meet him in the first place. He didn’t want to waste anymore time, as he likely had little of it left. As small as the watch was, it felt heavy around his neck when he thought about how it would take him away without warning, whenever it wanted.

“Why did you stop?” He demanded, taking a step towards the man.

Levi seemed awestruck for a moment, before his expression dissolved into its regular despondent gaze. But he met Eren’s eyes with a different kind of fire.

“I never know if you’ll come back.” He said.

The pent up anger dissipated slowly at that, and Eren realized what he was to the man. He never expected their small consummation to happen in this circumstance, let alone at all.  He wanted so badly to find the right words, because Levi was waiting for them. He wanted a reason not to abide by what his mind was telling him to do. He was looking in Eren’s eyes for the one reason to ignore everything else.

Then it came to him.

“Don’t waste your time, right now, being afraid of the future.” Eren said, his voice wavering as he repeated the man’s words. “You’ll regret it when it comes.”

A certain power entered him, and it didn’t just move him mechanically. It changed him. The feeling was like wind, in that it blew through him. Carried him like a ship on the sea.

Levi looked at him like he’d hung the moon.

…

All he could feel was the crash of Levi’s mouth into his and the moan that escaped his lips when his back collided with the wall again. Levi subdued it with his lips, hands threading through the boy’s hair as he swiftly nipped against his mouth.

Eren’s movements were frantic in the way that he pulled Levi against him until there was no space left between them. He sighed into the man’s mouth, not wanted to part from it.

Levi broke away from Eren’s lips, panting heavily into his curve of his shoulder as the boy reached a hand up from his hip to card fingers through his hair, to scrape against the grain of the short hair above his nape.

Eren inhaled sharply at the sensation of Levi’s lips against his neck, letting out a soft noise when he felt teeth scrape gently against his skin. He shivered at the loss of heat when Levi left the spot on his neck untouched, rising up to meet his heavy gaze.

He felt moisture gather in his eyes when he went to cup Levi’s face in his hands, meeting his lips again. It was a drawn out kiss, desperate for some semblance of security - some confirmation that they both wanted to stay there more than anything else.

Eren didn’t push for anything more than that. He pulled Levi into his arms, burying his face in the crook of his neck. Levi held him firmly, running a hand through the boy’s dark hair as a means to distract them both from the inevitable.

“You’re going to meet me,” Eren said after a long time, trying to steady his shaking breath, “a few years from now, and you’ll know how I feel.”

“Perverted little shit,” Levi whispered with a grin in his voice, making the boy laugh despite himself.

…

They went quietly back to Levi’s room soon after that, with Eren’s fingers constantly catching at the man’s sleeve. All pretense of pride was gone.  It was pointless to mask it anymore.

Levi had insisted that he hadn’t slept for shit in a week, but they ended up awake in bed, somehow knowing that their time was almost up.

Eren took Levi’s hand in a soft grip, feeling his departure looming over him like an unsteady house of cards.

“You’re leaving.” Levi murmured, his hand as motionless as his expression.

“I think so,” Eren said, failing to swallow the lump in his throat. He felt so weak to his emotions in comparison to the man in front of him.

Levi looked detached, but his eyes always said differently.

Eren brought the small white hand to his lips, kissing his knuckles. Levi watched him with lips parted, like he wanted to say something.

They listened to the clock, putting their heads together as they lay there waiting for something to happen.

“Levi,” Eren whispered, watching him close his eyes like he was trying brace himself against pain.

“I’ll always come back.”

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

Levi opened his eyes in the morning to an empty bed.

Streams of light seeped in through the windows, with visible particles of dust settling over the place where Eren had been.

He might have stared at the empty space for hours. The only evidence that another person had been there were the crumpled sheets beside him, and the pink finger marks on his hand from when the boy had tried to wake him.

 

 

 

 


End file.
